Thursdays #2

This week was one of those that I wish to not ever repeat. It didn't have a good start nor it had a good end. However, I had great persons around me that helped me get through it and for that I am thankful Xx.

I really hope I can get myself back to normal and get out of this current phase. I need to do something that excites me! So I will be working on a new Stop-Motion project hopefully I will get done this weekend!

Moral of the week

What does not kill you, makes you stronger. So hang in.

Week Highlights

Attended a conference on education and workplace
My stocks in my investment game are doing well! =D
Found a great idea for one class project

P.S I am hoping to add photographs to my next Thursdays posts if I remember to shoot!

Have a great weekend.

Quote of the day

"Most great stories are stories of will, of determination and courage, of the will to fight, of the will survive."- One Tree Hill

This is so-not-me

I don't know what exactly happened but "me" is not very familiar with herself anymore. I try rationalize my loss of motivation and inspiration to the fact that its been 3 years in University and about time I got sick of it.

Where have I gone? How have I gone when the only thing that defined me was those above. I still do have goals in life on the bright side, but what is the point of that when the urge that pushed me all this years suddenly went away.

"I am not me" perhaps is a short phase, a result of being multi-shocked or perhaps the beginning of my next chapter. Though with current symptoms chances of a chapter in failure is pretty high. Perhaps it's time to fail, to feel defeated and to feel the need to stand up again.

I guess these days are consumed with thinking, who knows perhaps that's what I need after-all. A long time away to contemplate and figure it out. Figure everything out.

( رحم الله امرأً عرف قدر نفسه )

Post #60

احمل على كتفي حمل من ثقلهِ لا احتمل
من يحتمل ثقل الجبال؟ تكسر كتوفَ من حمل
انا لا اريد من دنيتي غيرُ الامل!
غير القلوب ان تجتمع وان تكتمل!
تعبت حروفي من صياغه ذا الجمل
لا يملأن عينُ البشر غيرُ الرمل
ارضي ربي بفعل خير العمل
ذاك العمل ان غاب الشر ُهل
يا ذا القدر لخاطري لا تهملُ
ان كان مجالن للشملِ فاشملُ
ان القلوب بالبعدِ قد تمل
ما في الحياه غير المحبه اجملُ

Code Red?

I have never imagined myself standing in a hospital room looking at the pulse of a dear one and remembering terms I became familiar with through Grey's Anatomy happening right in front of me.

I saw a code red happen and go back to blue as they try to fix what is wrong. I saw the BP going up and down and the nurses trying to tell us everything is fine. No it's not & I do get parts of what is happening. I do get that its time to say goodbye & even though I don't know when it will happen, it was just the time to do so. Goodbye my loved one, I hope your departure will be as easy as it can get.

اراك بين الموت والحياةَ تُقاتلي..
و هل بعدُ القتالِ نجاةُ ؟
وامسك دمعتن هلت عليكِ
لاجل دمعن من بنينكِ يدمعُ
ارى في الوجوه امامي تعكرٌ
كانما كتب وقت الوفاةِ
وادعي المستجيب لك تيسراً
فانت تسبقي ونحنُ نلحقُ..
اقبلكِ وداعاً من احفادكِ
وهل بعد الوداعُ تلاقي؟

Friday September 24

Thursdays #1

It is the first Thursday of my first week back! This week felt more of a month! Although I am such a nerd and love studying and all, I seriously felt the days were walking by so slow!

I am looking forward for all my classes and happy to have some of the familiar faces with me in most of my lectures. I think this semester will be very interesting yet new.

Tomorrow I am submitting my first conference paper! I am very proud of myself because I was able to get it done. Of-course thanks to the amazing adviser I had pushing me.

I have been lately into this song, enjoy!

Moral of the week
In the end you are on your own

Week Highlights

• Coffee mornings
• Meeting Lord Sassoon of London
• Attending a female police squad show

Homework

• Come up with a business idea for "Small Business Management" class
• Make sure my stocks are doing well for "Investment" class online game
• Think of capstone ideas

Have a blessed weekend!

Dear Sister

I know you deserve a better sister then me & you deserve someone I might never be able to be like.

I hope that you do understand how much I love you & that nothing is wrong with you but everything is wrong with me. I am not capable of giving you the care you should get only yet.

I do hate the part of me that is solid, lacks and hides feelings because I am too afraid to care. Yes, I am too afraid to care & why shouldn't I be. I am afraid of caring too much and getting very attached.

If I was you, I would hate me too & I don't blame you when you repeatedly say "I wish I can switch sisters" or "I wish I can go buy a new sister".

You deserve someone better someone I might never be.

With Love.
Your Sister

Last Summer Day

September 18th 2010, last summer day. This summer has been long, interesting & a large chapter of my growth journey.

Every summer I start a countdown anticipating the days to walk by faster. Shockingly, this year I did not have a countdown. Maybe I was enjoying having nothing to do, or maybe I am not looking forward for a scheduled life or maybe I was counting for something else or maybe...or maybe..

Anyhow! so tomorrow is my first day of my senior year. I have a very light schedule with 13 credits only so that will be exciting. I decided to take photographs of my first day essentials!

My lovely notebook calender with appointment scheduled already written ;P!

A notebook, folder, pens and highlighter. 8-)!

Courses I'm taking this semester =D looking forward for all

I will be starting a weekly report of my college life classified as "Thursdays" since I have Thursday's of every week off =D!

Tomorrow will be interesting with a social event as a start of this academic year. We are planning a Twitter ZU TweetUp between both campuses linked through video conferencing. If you are on my twitter then please RSVP.

That's it for now, have a great first day everyone that starts tomorrow! :) & goodbye summer.

Puzzled

So they say some work is worth the bother and not until yesterday this really made sense to me. Things are starting to fall into my pretty empty puzzle though not all pieces are there but it will get there one day.

I decided it's time to award myself for commitment & yesterday while surfing the net I stomped upon a Horse inspired bag! Yes I am still crazy about the horse I still do not have.

To get you or not to get you, this is the question

Missing Something

I don't know what I'm missing exactly, but I know I am missing something. It is not like it used to be & I miss whatever used to be was. I try to find a new thing in order to stop thinking or feeling that something has changed but I fail over and over.

I do not like failure but I am not afraid to try it from time to time.

ليس كل ما يشتهيه المرء يدركه تجري الرياح بما لا تشتهي السفن

Life?

Sometimes I think I am over life shocking me and that anything and everything that might happen is nothing but ordinary. Yet, life still shocks me though I have seen much in front of me in my 20 years.

I have seen life & death , hate & love, jealousy & gratitude, poorness & richness, brotherhood & sisterhood and I still cannot define life.

It is not black nor white. It is not colorful nor colorless. It's a blend of everything bitter and sweet.

It is one long journey.

Photos from archives- All Rights Reserved

September 12 2010

September 12, I did know you are arriving this fast. My eyes are still not ready to rain over this & my feelings haven't met "my feelings" to know how to feel.

I can't imagine that after today, you will be miles away starting a brand new life on your own. We grew up together, shared our stupid moments with each other and had our laughs.

I will not forget the first time we fought in Arabic class that I was so mad I shut the door and left the class in the middle of it.

I will not forget getting kicked out of Art class because I crawled under the table to get my rubber that you threw and the fact that we both were kicked out.

I will not forget how good you were to me and that you are one sister that will forever remain.

I truly love you and will truly miss you.

Ramadan Dailies: #30

Goodbyes are one of the hardest things a person faces. Today, I bid farewell to a dear month, Ramadhan. Who has been an amazing and enlightening visitor. I set goals before this holly month arrives and I think I did well goal wise! I feel I have matured a bit and gave my soul a chance to grow.

This post puts an end to my Ramadan Dailies in which I hope you have enjoyed and they were beneficial somehow to you.

اللهم أعد رمضان علينا سنيناً عديدة
اللهم تقبل منّا صيام شهر رمضان واجعله كفارة لما سبق من ذنوبنا وعصمة فيما بقي من أعمارنا وارزقنا أعمالا صالحة ترضى بها عنا

{خِتَامُهُ مِسْكٌ وَفِي ذَلِكَ فَلْيَتَنَافَسِ الْمُتَنَافِسُونَ}

Ramadan Dailies: #29

Admiring Arabic literature is one thing we are held guilty for not doing enough of. I miss poetry reading in Arabic classroom back in high school and having to memorize verses of famous poets.

Although at that time I use to HATE being forced to memorize Fadwa Toqan poetry or Al Mutanabi, I find myself now looking back into those poems and reciting them to myself to remember!

These are some of the recent poems I am indulging myself to understand them and save them in my memory. All are authored by Al Imam Al Shafei.


ما في المقامِ لذي عقلٍ وذي أدبِ

ما في المقامِ لذي عقلٍ وذي أدبِ
مِنْ رَاحَة ٍ فَدعِ الأَوْطَانَ واغْتَرِبِ
سافر تجد عوضاً عمَّن تفارقهُ
وَانْصِبْ فَإنَّ لَذِيذَ الْعَيْشِ فِي النَّصَبِ
والأسدُ لولا فراقُ الأرض ما افترست
والسَّهمُ لولا فراقُ القوسِ لم يصب

يُخَاطِبني السَّفيهُ بِكُلِّ قُبْحٍ

يُخَاطِبني السَّفيهُ بِكُلِّ قُبْحٍ
فأكرهُ أن أكونَ له مجيبا
يزيدُ سفاهة ً فأزيدُ حلماً
كعودٍ زادهُ الإحراقُ طيبا

تموتُ الأسدُ في الغابات جوعاً

لا تأسفن على غدر الزمان لطالما
رقصت على جثث الأسود كلاب
لاتحسبن برقصها تعلو على أسيادها
تبقى الأسود أسوداً والكلاب كلاب

Verse of the Day: ن وَالْقَلَمِ وَمَا يَسْطُرُونَ {1} مَا أَنتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُونٍ {2} وَإِنَّ لَكَ لَأَجْراً غَيْرَ مَمْنُونٍ
Quran: Finished reading for the third time.

Ramadan Dailies: #28

Eisenstein says that the only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

Time is something intangible, it is something you "believe" you can measure but you truly cannot. What made me think about this is the time illusion and distraction I had the past couple of days.

Feeling that an hour was as long as 10 and a half an hour feels like 5 hours only concludes me to believe time is not what we think it is.

Verse of the day: وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَ اللَّيْلَ وَالنَّهَارَ خِلْفَةً لِّمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يَذَّكَّرَ أَوْ أَرَادَ شُكُورًا

Ramadan Dailies: #27

I have nothing to say today, an empty post it is or an empty day was it

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ كَرِيمٌ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي

Photograph from Archives

Ramadan Dailies: #26

Today should be an interesting one in my quest to get better and get back to my normal productivity. Yesterday night made me think about things I take for granted and that being my health. Which made me think about the very simple things that make me smile.

5 simple things that make me smile

1) Finding (1) Inbox message in my work email.
2)Turning on the mobile to find a missed call.
3) Getting a concerned call.
4) Laughing with someone at something silly to cheer me up.
5) Getting shouted at for not taking care of myself.

Photograph from Archives

The night yesterday was unbelievably a long one and my words were on a toll.

مجاراه شعريه
يقول: بدر بن عبد المحسن

يطيح جفن الليل واهز كتفه..نجمٍ يشع وباقي الليل مطفي

المجاراه
ياشين الليل لا جتك رجفه..مكحلن للعين ومهلكن طرفي

Ramadan Dailies: #25

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

إنا أنزلناه في ليلة القدر (1) وما أدراك ما ليلة القدر (2) ليلة القدر خير من ألف شهر (3) تنزل الملائكة والروح فيها بإذن ربهم من كل أمر (4) سلام هي حتى مطلع الفجر

Ramadan Dailies: #24

Today has been one of the hardest Ramadan days. I am failing to keep up with my expectations & is not able to meet my deadlines. My mental abilities are at question as I am not able to focus nor resume my daily activities normally.

On the bright side, I am now officially out for a horse hunt. Looking for a mare, of whatever breed age between 3-10yrs. Hopefully, I get lucky and find what I am looking for.



Verse of the Day: وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ

Ramadan Dailies: #23

A week from now, Ramadan will bid us goodbye. I have very mixed feelings towards that! This month in this year especially was an extraordinary experience. I have done much that I have never done before and it changed me as a person. I hope this spirit that was tagging along accompanies me throughout the months to come.




A clever, imagination, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds- Percy Ross



Photographs from archive- All Rights Reserve

Verse of the Day: ( اقرأ باسم ربك الذي خلق ، خلق الإنسان من علق ، اقرأ و ربك الأكرم ، الذي علم بالقلم، علم الإنسان ما لم يعلم )

Ramadan Dailies: #22

September has arrived, and I could not ask for a better start like the one I had today! I love everyone who has made today special from the first second of my early morning to the great gathering tonight. Thank You.

I have waited for September 2010 for as long as I can remember! September 2010 is the start of my senior year as an undergraduate and since the first day as a freshman I wanted this day to come. Not because I wanted to graduate, but because the dreams I had ahead of me will start becoming reality- or at least I wish for them to.

September 2010 is the month where graduate school application start appearing and it is the time that I decide to apply. This might be the most uncertain thing I ever do in my life but I promised myself to dream as far as I can. Yes I am dreaming "Big Dreams".

I decided on the two places where I really want to complete my education.

1- Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne

2- University of Cambridge UK

I am excited about the first choice. Ecole is Ranked 1st in Europe and top 20 in World for Research and Science & is the sister University where Einstein got his Masters and PhD. And oh, I am applying straight to a PhD which is a super extremely far dream but I have faith!

A happy September to all and I wish this month will bring joy to everyone.

Verse of the Day: (يُؤْتِي الحِكْمَةَ مَن يَشَاءُ وَمَن يُؤْتَ الحِكْمَةَ فَقَدْ أُوتِيَ خَيْراً كَثِيراً وَمَا يَذَّكَّرُ إلاَّ أُوْلُوا الأَلْبَابِ)
Quraan: 22/30 - #3